Strong, independent and Unhappy!

Never ask forgiveness for being a powerful woman. · The world needs strong women. ·Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women

We’ve all heard it! Be strong, you don’t need a man… Be the kind of woman a man needs!

What a load of crap, yeah I said it. All my life I have never fit into anyone’s standards; I have exceeded expectations, I have rose against traditions, I have been fighting for my right to be whoever I want to be, and for what? To have my 7 yearlong boyfriend tell me that I need to start acting more feminine and not confront people who actively try to put me in “my place”.

I have put men in their places all my life, I never cared if I was rude, insensitive, or too aggressive with my tone; if someone bullied me, I would refuse to be bullied. If someone starred at my chest instead of my eyes, I would make Them feel uncomfortable about it.

I have struggled to keep a sense of myself in this relationship, I have tried to adapt to being the girlfriend because I want this man, this kind, funny, passionate force of a man in my life. But, does having him means I would be less strong? Less Me?

Do I step back from confrontations expecting him to diplomatically resolve my issues just because he is my man, as if I need to be controlled?  Do I refrain from voicing myself because that would be less feminine? How the hell would I be flexible enough to give him what he wants and still be the person he met and fell in love with?

I have never been someone to need people to stand up for her, on the contrary; people describe me to be fearless, brave, passionate, and most importantly: not needing anyone in my life. What people don’t realize, what I won’t admit is that after all the storms calm down, after my rage goes away, after my heart beats settle down, I want to be hugged by the man I love, I want to go home to a man who smiles when he sees me fighting the world to be myself. Sometimes, it feels like I am fighting him as well, fighting him to let me be me or what’s left of me.

My biggest fear is waking up 10 years from now and not recognizing myself, I cannot allow myself to change for someone at the expense of myself.

Work Place Gossip

You know after a long day of work you head out home to change and have dinner with your friends or boyfriend? Yeah, I m lucky enough to have that. But at work I have to pretend that I don’t even know him, not because of company rules -God Forbid- but because of the gossip that has been haunting us.

Some say that what we have is sexual, others say that is won’t last because it’s just a work fling… You would think that someone would respect our privacy, intimacy, or even the fact that we have never discussed our relationship with anyone nor confirmed or denied it. Why does everything has to be a matter of public opinion, half the people at work think I m too aggressive or annoying and the other half tried to pick me up so whenever the slightest rumors turn into a conversation starter at work I wouldn’t even know where it started from!

I like to think I am a good person, a social likable person who is kind and helps people whenever I can. I used to believe in Karma, now that life just keeps knocking me on the ground over and over again I m starting to think that I don’t have a shot in making it. All the little issues consuming my patience has led me to become this neurotic bitch and I fear my relationship will be too affected by my bitchiness.

I hope I can get past all the hearsay crap, on certainty days I skip a day of work just so I can wallow on my couch and avoid any human contact which has become my new favorite hobby.

I m a strong believer in Karma

I know how that may sound, like” yeah join the club girl, we’ve got jackets!”

I’ve always done my very best not to judge anyone what so ever based on their past, and I myself try not to think about the past at all, but whenever something good happens to me, or I come across a beautiful coincident in my daily life I like to think it’s because of the good deeds that I do.


It’s not just the bad thing that karma throws at us, which by the way are sometimes just pure bad luck! I think our actions in general, reflect on us regardless of whether they are good or not so good.

I really do believe that those people that I meet who brighten up my day, or the lovely little things that bring joy to my heart on daily basis is because I try to be the best person that I can possibly be.

My BF inspired me to start a blog

I had the idea of starting a blog a few days ago when I wanted to make a special gift for my boyfriend on our First Year Anniversary. (our first year together yesterday: 28/05/2015 )

I made him a disposable web page and went all creative on him; he happens to be a really good writer and I was worried he might not be impressed, that’s my main concern when doing anything for him, but I designed and wrote the content of the page in less than an hour and apparently he loved it!

And I have always been a fan of creative artistic writings, so why not give it a shot!

Hope my blog makes it 🙂 CgMDEUsW8AAzS-5.png