Never ask forgiveness for being a powerful woman. · The world needs strong women. ·Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women
We’ve all heard it! Be strong, you don’t need a man… Be the kind of woman a man needs!
What a load of crap, yeah I said it. All my life I have never fit into anyone’s standards; I have exceeded expectations, I have rose against traditions, I have been fighting for my right to be whoever I want to be, and for what? To have my 7 yearlong boyfriend tell me that I need to start acting more feminine and not confront people who actively try to put me in “my place”.
I have put men in their places all my life, I never cared if I was rude, insensitive, or too aggressive with my tone; if someone bullied me, I would refuse to be bullied. If someone starred at my chest instead of my eyes, I would make Them feel uncomfortable about it.
I have struggled to keep a sense of myself in this relationship, I have tried to adapt to being the girlfriend because I want this man, this kind, funny, passionate force of a man in my life. But, does having him means I would be less strong? Less Me?
Do I step back from confrontations expecting him to diplomatically resolve my issues just because he is my man, as if I need to be controlled? Do I refrain from voicing myself because that would be less feminine? How the hell would I be flexible enough to give him what he wants and still be the person he met and fell in love with?
I have never been someone to need people to stand up for her, on the contrary; people describe me to be fearless, brave, passionate, and most importantly: not needing anyone in my life. What people don’t realize, what I won’t admit is that after all the storms calm down, after my rage goes away, after my heart beats settle down, I want to be hugged by the man I love, I want to go home to a man who smiles when he sees me fighting the world to be myself. Sometimes, it feels like I am fighting him as well, fighting him to let me be me or what’s left of me.
My biggest fear is waking up 10 years from now and not recognizing myself, I cannot allow myself to change for someone at the expense of myself.